Gosh dang. I am so tired of crying. And I cry for the same reason more often than not. Every month is a slap in the face. I guess I should say every 38-40 days, because I have a super long cycle. It's like walking on egg shells with my own body, waiting to see if Aunt Flo shows. Hoping that after almost 3 years, she's late because I'm pregnant. But nope. Just nope. Now, I don't talk to many people about our infertility struggle for many reasons. Some of those being shame, embarrassment, guilt, it's a personal subject and because I want to catch everyone by surprise when it does happen. It will happen, right? I also like to keep this to myself because I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me, and I honestly don't want your advice. I've tried lots of things. I've heeded advice and warnings from my general doctor and multiple OB/Gyno's. I have yet to visit a fertility specialist or a reproductive endocrinologist because that scares me. This may be childish but I don't care! We all deal with things differently. But, crying somehow makes me feel better. I just always remember this phrase "Cry as much as you want to, but just make sure when you're finished, you never cry for the same reason again," because I hope one day that I won't continue crying for the same reason.
This was short and sweet, but I was feeling kind of sorry for myself last night. I have slept my pity party away and have toughened up a bit.
On to the next.
Until next time!
Love ya's,
Cassie Cass
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